Church Report!

A book report is a "short" summary of a book you're supposed to have read. You might remember doing a few of those in elementary school. Today I'm going to do a church report. I'm going to give an overview of churches I've visited since I stopped attending my parents' church, and I'm going to say a few things I think of them.

I've already posted a video on what things I'm looking for in churches, but that wasn't really a report. I didn't say whether these churches actually have those things I'm looking for. That's what I'm going to do here.

The first church I visited was the Friends' Meeting in San Jose. I feel sorry that the one thing I've ever written about them was a little negative. So before I say what I'm going to, I must point out that the Quaker Church in San Jose is a charming little place that everyone should visit at least once. I should also say that the Quakers are generous enough to allow Santa Clara County Activists for Animals to use their building for free. I can't be grateful enough for that. They also have a potluck almost every Sunday.

Now, to say what I think of them as a church. I mentioned in my video that the first church to officially endorse universal healthcare is the first one I'll stop going to. The Quaker Church did just that when they passed a minute in their "Business Worship" calling for mandatory, federally-funded health coverage and expressing preference for a single-payer system.

Someone had contended in the previous business meeting that forcing people to get health coverage can be a violation of their conscience, so they postponed the decision for a month (business meetings are once a month). That person wasn't at this meeting, everyone knew she wouldn't be at the meeting, and they passed the minute without her. I could have raised my voice in opposition, but there were a few reasons I didn't. For one thing, I am not a "convinced" Quaker. Even though I am welcome to participate in the business meeting, and even though they wouldn't pass a measure if I oppose it, I feel very uncomfortable keeping them from saying something that 99% of them agree with. I also felt uncomfortable saying anything against it because just the previous business meeting I sternly told all of them that I oppose the use of lethal force against any sentient being on my behalf, and that they're going to have to figure out a way to deal with their gopher problem without killing any gophers. I hate to sound like the contrarian.

Another thing I should say about Quaker business meetings: the size of the church more than doubles - maybe quadruples - on business meeting days. Lots and lots of people show up only on the Sunday that they have the business meetings. There are other people who show up a little more often, but maybe every other Sunday. I didn't say this in my video, but that's not the type of attendance I want to see in a church. I really can't "do church" with people who I can't count on being there every week.

There is one other reason I will likely decide against making the Friends' Meeting my "home church". I don't have a Quaker temperament. I can't deal with keeping my eyes closed and sitting still in complete silence for a whole hour. I wasn't raised a Quaker. I was raised a Baptist. I need someone standing above me looking down at me telling me what I should and shouldn't do. And I need lots and lots of music.

Lots and lots of music (and someone telling me what to do) can be heard at St. Mark's Episcopal Church in Santa Clara. If you like hymns and organs, St. Mark's is a place you should visit. Also, there's an impressive diversity in the congregation - you can find just about any kind of person there, so long as they're white (or a black autistic kid adopted by a lesbian couple). But seriously, there are both conservatives and liberals in the church, and that would make a quasi-conservative like me quite happy.

As is common in Episcopal churches, the preacher is a white woman who talks as if she's everybody's mother. And her sermon dripped with the 3-letter G-word. If you could wring it out, it would still drip with that word.

Like the services of other noticeably Catholic denominations, the Episcopal service revolves around the Eucharist. And as in other noticeably Catholic denominations, the Eucharist is performed after everyone recites the Apostles' Creed or the Nicene Creed. Both these creeds declare belief in "God, the Father Almighty" who made the earth and everything on it. I already wrote a Facebook note entitled "Went to Church Today" where I explain my discomfort with this, but I'll write it here. If I take Communion after professing belief in the "Maker of all things visible and invisible", wouldn't I then be endorsing the food chain, and thus the subjugation of innumerable sentient beings? If God is not the creator of evil, then he cannot be the creator of the natural order.

The Episcopal church has Open Communion, meaning everybody is allowed to take it. So in Episcopal services everyone takes communion, except me. And that's kindof weird.

First Unitarian Church of San Jose is much less specific with its God concepts. They use amorphous, pantheistic words like "Spirit". Now, pantheism really doesn't get around the problem, because if God is the natural order then God is evil. And if God is that spontaneous force inside each of us that moves us towards collective action, then the Rodney King riots were godly acts.

I can put up with pantheism, though. I can also put up with all the women preachers who talk like they're everybody's mother. And I can put up with all the male preachers who talk like they're everybody's mother. What I can't put up with is all the unfamiliarity that comes with a UU service. Last summer I stopped going to the UU church in San Diego because they all did the Hokey Pokey before sending the kids off to Sunday school. I haven't seen them do the Hokey Pokey in the San Jose church, but I have seen a screening of a video on all the different "paths" in Latin America. It mentioned the evil Spaniards who "robbed" the Indians of their culture and imposed Roman Catholocism, and it also mentioned that charming little tribe that wanders the mountains of Central America completely naked, with only the simplest tools, and worshiping only the nature around them. It also mentioned the phrase "Two is less than One", which I'm still trying to mull over in my head. After mentioning Santeria and other syncretist paths, the narrator suggested that the Unitarian Universalist Church can offer a syncretist path that weaves together the religious symbols and meanings of all these paths and thereby helps each Latino and Latina to find spiritual meaning in a search of different and related paths.

If that is what I'm going to see after two services in a UU church, what else am I going to see? The video was bad sociology. It does what sociologists call an "eroticization of the other". "Oh look at the cute little Indians wandering naked in the mountains, they must be so much more content than we are!" This video was a symptom of a disorder that I have yet to find a name for. These people like blowing their minds with ideas that are flat-out incomprehensible. You don't have to smoke weed and watch Zeitgeist - just go to the local UU church!

A via media between St. Mark's and First Unitarian can be found at First Congregational Church of San Jose. They have an openness about their God concepts that somehow still fits into a Christian framework. Their Communion prayers were about as theologically non-descript as is humanly possible. That's really nice, cause I would be able to fully participate without worrying about worshipping the wrong kind of God. They have that wonderfully traditional set-up: altar front and center, with a lectern on the right and a raised pulpit on the left, and a HUGE cross hanging from the ceiling. There are plenty of hymns in the service, all accompanied by an organ. Today there was a lot of special music by the handbell choir, and it was very pretty. After the service there was an adult class on border issues. They have another one next week, but I won't be able to attend that class cause I'll be with my family at a memorial lunch for my Aunt Pat. But I do plan on attending that church a little more. I also hear that on Mardi Gras they put on a Talent/No Talent Show. Yeah I know, that's the totally wrong reason to decide on a church. But it shows I might be able to actively participate in this church.

The minister who did the adult education class suggested I look into an American Baptist church, since I was raised a Baptist. Sounds like a good idea, but I might think of that church in the same way I think of the Episcopalian church. At any rate, it's worth looking into.

In short, I haven't finished church shopping. I might have to add more "candidates" to my list. But for now I'll keep going to First Congregational, just to see what I could see.

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Update: The United Church of Christ, which First Congregational is a member of, officially supports H.R. 676 and/or any other health care reform intended to meet certain goals. Of course, the only option that meets the goals of universal access, affordability, comprehensive benefits, choice in physicians and other health care providers, and the elimination of racial and ethnic disparities in coverage is a fully private system, but I don't blame the UCC for not knowing that. You'll notice a completely misinformed, misleading, and delusional cartoon at the bottom of the page.

Seems I have to accept that there isn't such a thing as a liberal church that isn't socialist. I might have to change my criteria: instead of making an official socialist stance a grounds for disconsidering, I'll have to look at whether (a) socialist positions are preached from the pulpit, and (b) whether I look like I share that position by attending as a visitor and listening. First Congregational can be forgiven, I guess, since health "reform" was supported at the denominational level, and not advocated by a vote of unison by the congregation. I wouldn't be advocating health "reform" by visiting and listening to their hymns and sermons. The Quaker church, on the other hand, relies on what they call consensus, which means they don't approve of anything unless there isn't a single objection raised. Since I didn't raise any objection to their health minute - even though I'm not a member of the church - I supposedly supported health care "reform".

I did a search at American Baptist Churches' website and found that I already have visited the local ABC church. In fact, one of their members (and maybe their church pianist) was my piano teacher for a time. I also once visited that church with my brother and parents, back when we were church shopping as a family. That was the first time I heard a sermon given by a woman. She was sporting a sharp suit dress and heels. And she was using Power Point. The music was done by a worship band, which basically is what you would hear if you tune in to FM 91.9 K-LOVE. And the church is way too theologically conventional. Overall, the praxy isn't anywhere near ortho enough, but the doxy is WAY too ortho.